[you sound like silence]
May. 17th, 2013 07:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
seleniasTitle: You Sound Like Silence
Author:lavendre
Fandom: Oban Star-Racers
Characters/Pairing: Molly/Jordan
Rating: all audiences
Word Count: 700~
She lost her voice for a week shortly after the return home. Maybe it was the shock of returning to Earth after having been gone from the planet for so long that made her stoney and silent, but the greenery of the familiar rolling hills couldn't stand to soothe the burning ache in the back of her throat that kept her from speaking. Molly was hurting—and it seemed to be apparent to everyone but herself just how far the damage ran.
(here's a hint: it wasn't skin deep)
The Earth Team had made it home, but they were one member short.
Sharp-as-a-tack Stan was the first to ask. Inside the darkness of their Oban ship, she could hear his voice distantly asking Koji, slightly panicked, "Where's Jordan?" Koji's reply was simple, deceptive and quick, analytical; Molly could almost hear him resettling his glasses upon his face, the pained frown in his voice as he clung to a wall: "I... don't know."
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't... know.
Molly knew, but she didn't want to think about it. She, the coward who couldn't take on the responsibility she should have. Everyone had been paying for her mistakes from the very beginning except for herself; Rick, who wouldn't ever fly again; Stan and Koji, who were constantly having to repair their one and only "baby"; Aikka, who suffered to keep her out of dangerous affairs; she wondered distantly if losing Jordan had been the retribution she was meant to face for her ignorance, as if, his freedom in exchange for her peace of mind had been the only way to go from the outset. The previous Avatar had said it was her destiny—that she would make a fine ruler. But she knew she would never have that level of stamina for something so intense. All she'd ever wanted was her family back; she got her father, but she almost lost so many others along the way as well. She wanted them all, but that was where her "prize" drew the line.
She couldn't have him.
It felt like now, in the aftermath of their labors, all the racers who had strived to come out on top had been made someone's idea of a practical joke. That's what the Ultimate Prize had been, after all—a cruel and deceptive joke.
In the hull of the ship, Molly idly realized her father was talking to her. She felt his eyes on her, but in the dark, she couldn't see anything at all.
"Eva? What's the matter? Are you—are you crying?" His voice was quiet, but it was laced with the undertones of worry.
Brusquely, she pushed her father's hand away to wipe at her face. Her skin was deceptively dry, but she felt the shaking in her limbs, the tell-tales signs of a dry sob waiting to be released. To think, she hadn't cried near as much over the loss of her father as she was trying not to for Jordan. Just what sort of impression was she trying to leave? That she was hurt? No, she wasn't hurt–
She felt empty, as if the Ultimate Prize was the one whom she'd left behind on Oban. She felt treacherous; Jordan should have been here with her! She should be the one paying for her own mistakes, and yet... he'd said he'd always wanted to do something big with his life. And now, he was. But the knowledge alone wouldn't ever substitute for his lack of presence.
Don was still waiting for her answer, but Molly wasn't ready to speak just yet. So she picked up her father's hand in her own and squeezed it lightly in answer. His palm was warm, just like a father's should be. His other touched her cheek lightly. The ship shook but they clung to one another, adamant that they see this through. She shook her head finally against his chest and that seemed to be enough of an answer for him. Don didn't speak, but somehow, his strong hold seemed to convey both their losses.
I'm not alright. But I will be. And you will, too.
Somewhere, distantly, she wondered if Jordan thought the same for himself.
Author:
lavendreFandom: Oban Star-Racers
Characters/Pairing: Molly/Jordan
Rating: all audiences
Word Count: 700~
She lost her voice for a week shortly after the return home. Maybe it was the shock of returning to Earth after having been gone from the planet for so long that made her stoney and silent, but the greenery of the familiar rolling hills couldn't stand to soothe the burning ache in the back of her throat that kept her from speaking. Molly was hurting—and it seemed to be apparent to everyone but herself just how far the damage ran.
(here's a hint: it wasn't skin deep)
The Earth Team had made it home, but they were one member short.
Sharp-as-a-tack Stan was the first to ask. Inside the darkness of their Oban ship, she could hear his voice distantly asking Koji, slightly panicked, "Where's Jordan?" Koji's reply was simple, deceptive and quick, analytical; Molly could almost hear him resettling his glasses upon his face, the pained frown in his voice as he clung to a wall: "I... don't know."
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't... know.
Molly knew, but she didn't want to think about it. She, the coward who couldn't take on the responsibility she should have. Everyone had been paying for her mistakes from the very beginning except for herself; Rick, who wouldn't ever fly again; Stan and Koji, who were constantly having to repair their one and only "baby"; Aikka, who suffered to keep her out of dangerous affairs; she wondered distantly if losing Jordan had been the retribution she was meant to face for her ignorance, as if, his freedom in exchange for her peace of mind had been the only way to go from the outset. The previous Avatar had said it was her destiny—that she would make a fine ruler. But she knew she would never have that level of stamina for something so intense. All she'd ever wanted was her family back; she got her father, but she almost lost so many others along the way as well. She wanted them all, but that was where her "prize" drew the line.
She couldn't have him.
It felt like now, in the aftermath of their labors, all the racers who had strived to come out on top had been made someone's idea of a practical joke. That's what the Ultimate Prize had been, after all—a cruel and deceptive joke.
In the hull of the ship, Molly idly realized her father was talking to her. She felt his eyes on her, but in the dark, she couldn't see anything at all.
"Eva? What's the matter? Are you—are you crying?" His voice was quiet, but it was laced with the undertones of worry.
Brusquely, she pushed her father's hand away to wipe at her face. Her skin was deceptively dry, but she felt the shaking in her limbs, the tell-tales signs of a dry sob waiting to be released. To think, she hadn't cried near as much over the loss of her father as she was trying not to for Jordan. Just what sort of impression was she trying to leave? That she was hurt? No, she wasn't hurt–
She felt empty, as if the Ultimate Prize was the one whom she'd left behind on Oban. She felt treacherous; Jordan should have been here with her! She should be the one paying for her own mistakes, and yet... he'd said he'd always wanted to do something big with his life. And now, he was. But the knowledge alone wouldn't ever substitute for his lack of presence.
Don was still waiting for her answer, but Molly wasn't ready to speak just yet. So she picked up her father's hand in her own and squeezed it lightly in answer. His palm was warm, just like a father's should be. His other touched her cheek lightly. The ship shook but they clung to one another, adamant that they see this through. She shook her head finally against his chest and that seemed to be enough of an answer for him. Don didn't speak, but somehow, his strong hold seemed to convey both their losses.
I'm not alright. But I will be. And you will, too.
Somewhere, distantly, she wondered if Jordan thought the same for himself.
